Sunday, October 19, 2014

:: A Lesson in Being Open

So yesterday… I was just really worn down.  

Sick as a dog -buster
Sick as a dog.

I suffer from persistent anemia.  It comes and goes… I don’t know if you’ve ever been anemic; but it wears you out.  You are so tired all you can do is rest.

That’s all I’ve done the past 2 days.  Rested.

I did want to pop in and get today’s post written…for today…though it’s quite late now. I don’t think the 31 Days Blog Police will come and give citation for tardiness… ;)

Right before October and the WRITING 31 DAYS event started I decided I was going to journal everyday.  I want to do this to have a record to pass down to my ‘grown-ups’.  I don’t know that they’ll ready it, ever; but they’ll have it and can choose to do so freely. Anyway, the writing… That hasn’t happened.

I have held back, because there is so much.  A lot of it private. Some of it—needs to be said. Some of it will give answer to questions that go unasked. How much?  Do I name names?  There is just so much. Some of it sketchy, at best.  All of it washed away… cleansed by blood that flowed for me over 2000 years ago.

Today I thought I’d take a different approach and write a list of things for you—things you may not know about me.  Just opening up… I need the practice. :)

1.) In the 7th grade… I cut my bangs the day before picture day; too short, THEY WERE BURR BANGS! That was the first time I ever wore my hair parted on the side.  Years later, this became my style. Without BURR-BANGS OF COURSE. 
2.) I once kicked a girls butt in the 6th grade (literally) and several times—for bullying another girl.  The rest of my school life, no one ever messed with me and I hardly had any girl friends.  I was told some time later… most girls were afraid of me and they touted that incident as the reason.
3.) I later was kicked out of the town theater, for “fighting” with the same girl—again, she was bullying another girl much smaller than she was. Though, we didn’t really fight—it was more of a verbal altercation and a reminder to her, that bullying wasn’t tolerated.  Because I was kicked out of the theater--- that summer, I saw NO MOVIES.  DARN!  It probably fueled my reputation in Jr. High and High School, not to mention, made the movie theater a better place. ;) 
4.) I have a temper; and a low tolerance for ignorance. VOLATILE! (this is probably cheating; because you probably already guessed that) *see # 2 and #3 
5.) I consider my greatest accomplishment to be my marriage. 
6.) I also consider it to be my greatest obstacle!
7.)  I don’t like opening up; and am more comfortable with more reservation. 
8.)  I find this part of writing, opening up… to be challenging.  I’ve shared lots of things here with you; it’s much easier to share when you write anonymously.    The Delete button is my friend--
9.) Sharing my name- was one of the hardest. 
10.) More recently, I’d like to be called by my birth name (the one given by my mother) PATRICIA  than any other name I’ve ever gone by… at 50 years of age… I don’t see that happening.
11.)  I’m my own worst critic.
12.)  I take myself way too seriously.
13.)  I never ever… refer to myself as ‘selfie’ , Future Me, or Past You… except here on Corn… because sometimes I feel cheeky! ;)
 October 19 Post Card

‘Til next time, Be Blessed!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." ~Joshua 1:9

I'm participating in Nester's annual -31 Days of writing


Regena Fickes said...

Patricia is a lovely name, meaning noble. I would say you are living up to that. I also find it hard to really be open. It can be very liberating. Sorry to hear you have not been feeling well.

Stone Cottage Adventures said...

What a great list! I am definitely in the same boat when it comes to #11 and #12. 'Glad I am not the only one! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

NanaDiana said...

This was a good post, PATRICIA! lol It is had to be open and honest...but you are right-it is easier here with no faces looking directly at you. Your answers actually surprised me- I would never guess you had a I will know to be on my best behavior around you! xo Diana

Faith said...

Sweet Potatoes a Kale, both powerful, chocked full of nutrients may be of help to your anemia my friend. Opening up..difficult for me. I am a private person and keep alot close to the vest. Hope your day is filled with sunshine. : )

Kris said...

Well I'll be dipped in bandini! I would never have thought you to be a fighter. Not me....I hate altercations! I can gripe to my husband about it real good though!!
Hope you are feeling better soon!!
xo Kris

Kristina said...

I hope you feel better soon!

holli said...

I had a fist fight my senior year with a girl that had bullied me for years and I didn't want her to think she could get away with it. I have no regrets on that!

Audrey said...

Enjoyable writing Patricia. Sorry you are feeling bad. My hubs was anemic and was weak and passing out ... come to find out he had a bleeding ulcer. Got that fixed and he is fine now.
Good luck.
Audrey Z. @ Timeless Treasures

Laura said...

This list is wonderful, but my favorites items are hen you took up for someone else.

You Go Girl.

In the world of blogging opening up makes us a little off the grid, right?

All of the blog experts say readers don't want that.

To that I say, WHATEVER.

You go girl- if you want to- and it feels right.


The Polka Dot Closet said...

First of all...Wishing you a ton of RBC's to feel better. Listen Patricia, you are a lot better at opening up than I will ever be!


A Daughter of the King said...

Dear Patricia,
If we'd been in school together, we would have been friends.