When it came time to work in the front bedroom—I knew I didn’t want to just go back the way it has always been; you know, slapping some paint on the walls, putting the furniture back and be done with it. I wanted to put my own touches on this room. At the same time, we have the move to consider.
However, at the time I was working on the bedroom—the move was out and we were waiting for an appraisal and getting refinancing,instead. Currently, we are in limbo about the house.
Let me back up just a bit and explain. I told you back before the holidays, as far back as Thanksgiving I think—we were finally agreeing it was time to move. Since then—it has been an up and down roller coaster. Getting the house ready to sell. Then, out of the clear blue we talked with about getting refinancing.
It looked like that would be the way we’d go instead. We filled out the paper work, got approved for the refinancing and had an appraisal on the books—waiting for the appraiser. That day, he never showed. I called to find out where he was, perhaps lost, or just running late… what?
He told me it was canceled and to call the finance office. That is when I found out. The refinance was off the table. The air let out of my balloon with a big bang! Not the floating, spitting and sputtering type of balloon that flies around in a funny sort of way. No.
BANG!
This all happened in the past 10 days. Now… I haven’t done a thing. I’ve not scrambled to find another route to take. I’ve not screamed, cried or stomped my feet. Oh no… wait. There was that hour, same day—where I went to bed and cried!
Waaaaahhhhh!!!!! just like a baby. I forgot about that. In fact, let’s all forget about that. It didn’t do a lick of good. I did NOT get my way. For once in my life, I truly don’t know what we’re going to do…about any of this.
My emotions are wrung out… like a cold wet sloppy rag, if I can say so.
I’m trusting the LORD. At a time when everything within me wants to DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN AND MAKE OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION BETTER. I am taking my moments with my family. I’m holding babies. I’m crocheting. Tending chickens… normal stuff. I’m making a mortgage payment at a time in life when, honestly, I thought we’d be done with it by now.
So that… in a nut shell, is why I’ve not blogged much lately. It is hard to put on a happy face, when you’re not happy. It’s hard to sit down and put into words how I really feel. I don’t care much for the sugar coating.
I want to share this little statue of Emmett Kelly,Jr… the wine-o. I’m not sure if that’s the name of this figure. But, he’s got a bottle in the hand. He looks destitute. I found him while working in the front bedroom in a box. I took him out and put him on display…because HE is my style. (more on that later too)
I was given this my senior year in high-school. By the mother of my best friend. I kept it for years because it reminded me of her. Every time I see it I think of her. I still think of her.
But now, I keep it because it reminds me of something deeper. It reminds me that no matter how bad things get—no matter the circumstances. Whether the bottom is a bottle or if your rock bottom is something else…Like wrung out emotions and cold wet sloppy rags… God will find you. Seek Him.
We aren’t promised tomorrow. But if you are so gracious to wake up and have a tomorrow—it’s because He made it so and tomorrow He’ll be there too.
‘Til next time, Be Blessed~ and stay warm!
Patricia*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
12 comments:
Oh, Pat. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. One of our family members went through this about 2 years ago and it was awful. It dragged out for months for them. Twice they got approved to refinance and then got axed at the very end. They did end up selling and moving to something smaller but it was not a happy solution for them either.
You are right - we are not promised tomorrow but we do hope that tomorrow is a happy one. Life is just so hard sometimes.
I really think blogging for you right now lets you just "let it out" and know that someone else out there sees and understands.
You WILL get through this, Pat. It may not be easy and you may not think you can do it--but you can--and you will.
Blessings and prayers. xo Diana
Hugs Pat.
It's hard to feel unsure and unsettled, Pat. I'll pray for clarity for you...sometimes things happen in a way we never see coming. xoxo
I am so sorry you are going through this. Maybe another bank? I know we held an estate auction to sell everything. You'll find a way I know you will. I'm rooting for you. Hugs!
Prayers going out. Moving, selling a home is SO stressful. I always rejoice when I see a SOLD sign in front of a house.
And limbo..... well that's a whole 'nother thing.
But you are right. God is faithful and He has never failed us. He's not going to fail you now.
They say that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it takes months or even years for us to stumble across that reason. But the ultimate outcome is often a new path we might have missed without the occurrence, a new journey, a new beginning. Many times what we think of as a horrible ending to something is actually Him showing us a new beginning. It could be looked at someday as a miracle in disguise. The hard part is getting to that place to see it. I know, though, that you are a "seeker" and somehow you always find the lemonade in the lemons. You can do this, and as you can see, many of us know you will!!
Pat, I'm a newbie to your blog but I will keep you in prayer that all this mess works out for the best. God always sees us through...
Oh Pat, I feel what you are. I did cry last week, because the strike continues for Hubby. I needed to read this and be reminded. Prayers for you all.
I have been in your shoes only worse. I can tell you when we think we know exactly what we want and try and try and it doesn't work out. Why? Because it was not in God's plan. I knew exactly what I (ME)
wanted only God said "no". When He finally showed me what I needed, then my eyes were opened and said "really God"?? Are you sure??? Yep He was right and I (me) was wrong. Hang in there and He will lead you where He wants you to go. God Bless
Hang in there my friend. Good things will come.
Big hugs from Baltimore
xo
My heart goes out to you, Patricia. As a child, I had a painting of Emmet Kelly in my bedroom. At night, it frightened me, but in the morning, I always noticed he was smiling. Sometimes we are in the dark and frightened, but joy comes in the morning. I know you are looking to God to provide means and ways and that you know His answers to life's perplexities always come just in time. I predict that someday you will be posting about why you are glad God said "no" or "wait" on this issue. Until then, I will trust him with you for the best.
Oh, no! My sister (don't know if you remember me saying how quickly their house sold), is going through something similar. Ugh. The finance guy on behalf of their buyers is yanking everyone around, insisting my sister and her hubby pay for multiple tests of the neighborhood's cistern (even though they've already come up clear) among other things. They're now about to lose the house they're attempting to buy because of this guy. They had another offer, but when they finally decided to just go with the other family, that family had already offered on another house! It can be frustrating and difficult even when you know God is there (even for my pastor brother in law!), discerning between His will and ours, knowing when we're to act wait, etc. Prayers that you two will have solid answers sooner than later!
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