When it came time to work in the front bedroom—I knew I didn’t want to just go back the way it has always been; you know, slapping some paint on the walls, putting the furniture back and be done with it. I wanted to put my own touches on this room. At the same time, we have the move to consider.
However, at the time I was working on the bedroom—the move was out and we were waiting for an appraisal and getting refinancing,instead. Currently, we are in limbo about the house.
Let me back up just a bit and explain. I told you back before the holidays, as far back as Thanksgiving I think—we were finally agreeing it was time to move. Since then—it has been an up and down roller coaster. Getting the house ready to sell. Then, out of the clear blue we talked with about getting refinancing.
It looked like that would be the way we’d go instead. We filled out the paper work, got approved for the refinancing and had an appraisal on the books—waiting for the appraiser. That day, he never showed. I called to find out where he was, perhaps lost, or just running late… what?
He told me it was canceled and to call the finance office. That is when I found out. The refinance was off the table. The air let out of my balloon with a big bang! Not the floating, spitting and sputtering type of balloon that flies around in a funny sort of way. No.
This all happened in the past 10 days. Now… I haven’t done a thing. I’ve not scrambled to find another route to take. I’ve not screamed, cried or stomped my feet. Oh no… wait. There was that hour, same day—where I went to bed and cried!
Waaaaahhhhh!!!!! just like a baby. I forgot about that. In fact, let’s all forget about that. It didn’t do a lick of good. I did NOT get my way. For once in my life, I truly don’t know what we’re going to do…about any of this.
My emotions are wrung out… like a cold wet sloppy rag, if I can say so.
I’m trusting the LORD. At a time when everything within me wants to DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN AND MAKE OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION BETTER. I am taking my moments with my family. I’m holding babies. I’m crocheting. Tending chickens… normal stuff. I’m making a mortgage payment at a time in life when, honestly, I thought we’d be done with it by now.
So that… in a nut shell, is why I’ve not blogged much lately. It is hard to put on a happy face, when you’re not happy. It’s hard to sit down and put into words how I really feel. I don’t care much for the sugar coating.
I want to share this little statue of Emmett Kelly,Jr… the wine-o. I’m not sure if that’s the name of this figure. But, he’s got a bottle in the hand. He looks destitute. I found him while working in the front bedroom in a box. I took him out and put him on display…because HE is my style. (more on that later too)
I was given this my senior year in high-school. By the mother of my best friend. I kept it for years because it reminded me of her. Every time I see it I think of her. I still think of her.
But now, I keep it because it reminds me of something deeper. It reminds me that no matter how bad things get—no matter the circumstances. Whether the bottom is a bottle or if your rock bottom is something else…Like wrung out emotions and cold wet sloppy rags… God will find you. Seek Him.
We aren’t promised tomorrow. But if you are so gracious to wake up and have a tomorrow—it’s because He made it so and tomorrow He’ll be there too.
‘Til next time, Be Blessed~ and stay warm!