Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What is Normal?

On Sunday we drove down to Waco after church.
Honey has a sister that lives there. She offered for us to come and spend the night anytime we need to since the VA hospital isn't too far from her home.  There is a  hospital in Waco, but we drove on down to a town called Temple, to the VA there.

It was so nice to visit his sister.  
I was so grateful for a place to crash and not having to drive all that way and then back home the next day.
She made a simple dinner of potato salad and pulled pork tacos with homemade granola and yogurt cups for dessert.
We walked around her beautiful yard and looked at her garden. She has such a lovely touch when it comes to plants.  She made us feel so comfortable. We've never spent the night at her home. We're not a spend the night kind of family. {smile}

She is the youngest daughter and just a little bit younger than me. Honey is the oldest of  8 kids and there are 20 years between he and the youngest kid (another son). As for the others in the family--- it has been a rough 2 years and our situation is the newest of troubles to add to the pile. But still...
It has been amazing to watch all that God has done out of this hardship-- he has restored family relationships like you wouldn't believe.
Honey has another sister and  For about 7 years -- she hasn't had any dealing with the family and stayed away the whole time  my MIL was ill and finally passed in 2009--- that sister didn't even come to her mom's funeral.  Now me?  I've forgiven her. We've not spoken in almost 7 years. (2 years ago she made it clear I wasn't to contact her anymore) I forgave her a long time ago, but others -well, I can't speak for them.
The sisters have stayed in touch so when the youngest called and asked me if she could pass my cell phone information onto the oldest sister--- I said, yes!   -- This was new territory! 
She wanted to come and see her brother.  Praise the Lord!  I was happy.  Who am I to stand in the way of what God is doing, right?  She came and saw Honey in the hospital and has been calling periodically to check on him.  His brothers are calling on a regular basis too. Although since my MIL passed all 6 of the brothers have kept in touch in some way, shape or form.
One brother is taking care of his terminally ill wife--- but we keep in touch.  He also came to the hospital a few times.  He was there to drive me to Dallas the day they transported Honey up there by ambulance.  So, God is bringing this broken family together through tragedy.
The Saturday before Honey was released from the Hospital-- his own daughter, my step-daughter, came to Dallas to see her Dad.  We were all surprised!  It has been almost 7 years since we've seen her too. She has gone away from us and not had any dealings with us either.  What is it with people?   I don't get it.  But she came and brought her children.  We were able to visit with the sweetest children and most well behaved children I've met in quite sometime.  We met a grandchild we've never seen before.  Not even  a picture!  She is 2 years old-- just five days younger than our little Aubree.  Cousins.  They've never met.

Our  oldest daughter is planning a get together here for Father's Day-- we're hopeful that ALL THE KIDS will attend.  It's exciting. -- Kids meeting kids for the first time. Anticipation. 

Tomorrow-- we make another trip to the doctor.  This time to Palestine, TX.  To a VA clinic not the hospital.  Much closer and I hope not as crowded.  We will have days filled with trips, medicine, and unexpected activities that we didn't have to do before.  We will have days ahead with visits from people we've not seen or had relations with in a long time.  We will fill our days with Ice Tea and relaxing times sitting and recuperating.   Not doing much of nothin'. (That's TEXAN for  "Hangin' Out.")
I don't mean to talk as though he has passed, because he hasn't-- but I just don't  know what Honey is capable of doing now or in the future.  I've always been a care giver by nature-- but I don't know how to take care of the man who has always taken care of me.  It's all new
All of this is new territory.  It's scary.  I wake up some days not knowing what to expect; but I just muddle through.  I say things that sound so normal, to try and make sense of it all.  But most of the time-- the words just don't seem to fit; because I don't know what normal is anymore.

God Bless you and Thanks for Reading!

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 


Granny said...

I'm glad the family is reconnecting although it brought your husband's illness to make it happen.

My son uses a VA clinic and he makes sure to take along a snack, some bottled water and a book to read. It's sometimes a long wait but it beats the cost of going to a regular clinic. You're in my prayers.

Lisa said... have been thru so much in the past couple weeks...I am glad you have found joy thru family in your time of need...the Lord does work in mysterious ways but how wonderful to bring a family back together! Hug Honey for us and please have him hug YOU for me!

Prior said...

Wow, Pat, try to take care of yourself, too...and I am so happy about the new family situations...You and Honey seem to me like the kind of people who have always depended on each other or always helping someone, so I know it seems strange to need help from others.