Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits; ~ Psalm 103:1-2
As it is my birthday week I thought I'd take some liberties in my posts this week…
Well the next 5 days.
I've had lots on my mind the past six months or so... And I've made no bones about the fact that turning 50, not only has my attention and been a distraction; it’s also been quite bothersome for me!
I only know of 2 other birthdays that captured my attention so well. The first being my 18th birthday!
I remember crying when I was about to be 18 years old. Thinking that somehow at that age I'd be thrust into the world with nothing but the shirt on my back -- and all the responsibility you could imagine would bear down upon my shoulders.
And I would crumple under the weight of it.
Silly? Maybe.
Of course I was young- and quite full of myself. I think we all know someone that comes of age and knows what they're doing, how they're going to do it and with whom it will be done…
and with what level of energy and gusto!
I am NOT that person.
I'm here just days before my fiftieth birthday-- and still don't know the answers to SOME of those questions!
So yes, I’ve been mope-y and not looking forward to my birthday. I’ve thought about lots of different aspects of my life. Things that have changed for me. The first thing being the Type 2 diabetes diagnosis I was given last June— not long after I turned 49. It was not a happy time for me. I’ve thought about (and still it’s on my mind) … our home. Whether we will get to live here for very much longer. I’ve thought about mortality on so many levels, mine, my husbands, my dads… even my kids. I know there are some, that have buried a child- My own son has been through it. It’s earth shattering. We shouldn’t have to think about that. The biggest change hasn’t happened recently… it’s been gradual over a few years—and that is my focus.
I’ve taken my eyes off Jesus.
The other day—a revelation came to me. Something I’d forgotten—and that is I’m not the center of my universe; and when I am—the LORD is not.
I’ve forgotten His benefits.
…to the point of questioning myself. Would I praise Him if there were no benefits? I would hope so.
This week—and every week. But especially this week—I think it’s important to Praise His Holy name.
In doing so-- MY SOUL WILL BLESS THE LORD.
Turning 50 seems so INSIGNIFICANT now.
‘Til next time, Bless the LORD~
Patricia
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9 comments:
I hope you will be able to enjoy your birthday. Sending prayers that everything works out as it should.
Jesus first...Patricia 2nd :) I just went through a rough patch turning 60 last month. I'm still here LOL but I hear you loud and clear. I'll say a prayer for you too, Patricia. Hang in there hon!
So many people speak of eating healthy, exercising, reducing stress, taking safety precautions, so that we can live longer, but then we worry about the number attached to our age. I consider that we are extremely lucky if we are granted more time on Earth. Each year, every birthday is a blessing from Above.That isn't to say those who pass too early are NOT blessed, but those of us who are still here should truly be mindful of how lucky we are to be alive, regardless of what that number that is our age seems to signify. I think that is why many cultures praise their elders and hold them is such esteem. I want to look in the mirror and see each crease and wrinkle as earned and not bemoan them. (And that is MUCH easier said than done!!) I try to remember that many folks wish and pray that they, or someone they love, could live a few more years. It does help to make the birthdays a bit more joyful.
Oh! Patricia, He is good to remind you of all His benefits. And you are good to remind us! As I spend my last year before 60, I will meditate on his faithfulness to me, thanks to you and this post.
Yes, It is difficult to face the brevity of our lives here on earth, and the fact that we deteriorate doesn't help one bit. When faced with the "sudden" realization that I was old, God gave me some insights too. I wrote about it a few years ago. Here is the link. (Feel free to remove the link from your comments.) http://thoughtsfromadaughteroftheking.blogspot.com/2012/10/im-old-im-new-to-this.html
What a heartfelt post, Pat. Yes- Aging can be difficult -but the storms of life are even more difficult for us sometimes. To me, age is just a number. The only problem I have with aging are health issues tht I figure will come at some point. I don't like "slowing down"....lol
God bless you-I know you know where your real focus is...xo Diana
Chris, we ARE truly blessed for each day, each breath! I'm with you on the creases and wrinkles...in fact, I can't wait for the silver to fill in... really!
I think my birthday will be much more joyful than I anticipated...;)
I KNOW it will be!! Celebrate!! We are lucky to be here (and I have been here 15 years longer than you!!!) :-)
Just before my 50th birthday, I nearly died of a sudden illness. I was very sick for quite awhile, but when I turned 50, I was just SO grateful to still be here. Like Diana said...age is just a number. I worry about health issues more than my age, but I know my walk is in God's hands. And I guarantee when you are older, you will look back at 50 and realize how awesome it was! Happy happy birthday, Pat! xoxo
I'm glad that you have realized that turning 50 is so insignificant. :)
wishing you a wonderful birthday week!
gail
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